What Wine Do You Serve With Twinkies

In each one of our lives there is a quest. It could be to run the fastest mile, climb the highest mountain, write the greatest novel or compose the ultimate melody. Few ever attain their goal, but for those who have achieved the impossible dream, there are monuments erected and epics written. There are still, however, a few unanswered questions in our existent compilation of information.

The rules of what foods go with what wines, and they are hard and fast rules, are centuries old. But what about our modern foods. Who has investigated the proper wines to serve with the great American tube steak (the hot dog)? How about settling down to a quiet evening with a good book, a good wine and Twinkies? What kind of wine goes with pepperoni and anchovy pizza? Is there a proper wine for chicken nuggets, tacos, frozen dinners or the ever-present hamburger?

Let us begin with the “Tube Steak.” Barbecued, broiled or boiled, hot dogs have a strong flavor. Add to that the onions, relish, mustard, ketchup and other condiments that will usually accompany them, makes the choice of a wine very difficult. Try a slightly chilled syrah. It will rise above all of the goodies that can be piled on a “frank.”

A hamburger is beef and therefore, all of the wines that accompany beef dishes should prevail. But do they? Not if you believe in America and Americans. Every back yard gastronome has some “secret ingredient,” that makes his/her hamburgers unique. There can be little doubt that the secret ingredient will not be something as benign as tomato powder or oil of truffles. It will be some hair raising, mouth puckering spice like chili or Jalapeno peppers. In homage to tradition, the wine should be red. Zinfandel! Zinfandel!! Zinfandel!!! Few wines fit a barbecue situation as will a Zinfandel. Its berry like flavor and aroma can stand up to some of the strongest foods.

Whether you have it in a restaurant, send out for it, or go get it yourself, there is nothing like pizza. Pizza toppings, like people, vary. One can pile enough fixin’s on that flat piece of dough to build it into a veritable Vesuvius. What wine can accompany a mass of anchovies, pepperoni, cheese, mushrooms, peppers and all of the other imaginable or unimaginable possibilities?

Except for a few pieces of meat, the basic materials of a pizza are dairy products, and thus calls for a white, blush or rose’. A California chardonnay (because of its fruitiness) or a dry Chenin Blanc will fit the bill for a white wine choice. Served chilled, they are a perfect accompaniment for the ubiquitous pizza.

Since we are talking about going out to eat or having it delivered, the original take out food was oriental. We have found that a riesling or any of the blush wines, except a Zinfandel (too berry like) will do a fine job. That little bit of sweetness in the wine brings out the best of the Orient in the food.

Tacos and burritos, come in all sizes; small, medium and large; types; bean, meat or mixed; styles and temperatures. The taco itself is not a problem. It is the sauces that accompany them where the difficulty arises. These sauces run from the mild, to the hot, to the very hot, to the scorching and then to the ultimate, “My face is always this red.”

The mild and hot sauces pose little difficulty. A dry red wine with a big flavor like a Rioja or a petite sirah is the order of the day. For those of us who dig pain and like the more fiery tacos and burritos, a white or red sangria (a red wine that has been mixed with citrus fruit and juices) will help quench the thirst and put out some of the fire.

Cajun cooking, with its hot sauces and peppery blackening is the current “in” style of food. There are very few wines that can complement a mess of hot Cajun crawfish or blackened chicken as will a cool gewürztraminer.

And now to answer the ultimate question, “What wine do you serve with Twinkies,” …but of course, Champagne.